It's the Little Things...

Cancer sucks.  

We've all read it, heard it, seen it posted on social media.  Today, I celebrate the life of Amy Jane Nadley Lessman.  This superhuman was in my life from freshman year in high school until April of 2014, when the complications from what was essentially cancer of the appendix took her life.  

Today would have been Amy's 55th birthday.  She was a teacher of profoundly disabled children, who impacted the world more in her years on earth than ten ordinary people combined.  She loved love.   She loved being in love. She loved teaching love.   

While we were still in college, she and I were walking around Philadelphia one day when she stopped into McDonald's and bought a large fries, walked out to the street and approached a homeless man.  "Would you like these fries?"  

"Yes, m'aam."  

"Do you have a friend?"

"No, m'aam."

"Come with me."

Amy led the man about 20 feet down the street to another homeless guy, asked his name, introduced them to each other and then turned to the first guy and said, "Share these fries with your new friend.  And watch out for each other.  Cities can be rough."

 I stood with stunned disbelief.  Only Amy would give a lecture on the importance of having somebody's back to total strangers living on the streets of Philadelphia.

It's the Little Things...

It's been a pretty somber week, as cancer seems to be far-reaching and unstoppable.  I've delivered coffee and chocolate in Amy's memory today, and appreciated seeing her smile through the faces of the recipients.  Amy had more friends than most, and there were people all over PA and NJ sharing stories, java, and chocolate, and genuinely trying to make the world a better place.

So on this day -- and I hope every single day I have left here on earth -- I am trying to channel Amy and make the world a little bit happier than it was yesterday.   I am grateful for the friend that I had, and even more grateful for the lessons of happiness and gratitude that I learned from her.  I've made some new friends who were friends of hers as well, and we all have stories that could fill volumes illustrating the difference that one person can make in this world.

All because we had the love of Amy in our lives. 

Halfway to Happiness

The first Trick or Treaters arrived shortly after 6 pm, three adorable offspring of a kid that grew up across the street.  It doesn't seem like all that long ago that their father was donning a Power Ranger costume and begging for candy.  There was a time when we had dozens of candy-beggars, but tonight we've had only 6 -- and 3 of them were giggling high school girls who clearly have not read the age restrictions for Trick or Treaters in our community. With less than 10 minutes left until the 8 pm "lights out," I am confident that I will not need to open the backup bags of candy on the kitchen counter.

Faking It.

As I reminded my Themes in Lit class today, today was the first day of the new marking period, and the halfway point for the first semester.  It is also the halfway point in the 21 days to happiness project - which I am hoping my students are actually doing, and aren't trying to fake their results.  I feel like I am a hundred years old when I utter those fateful words, "by cheating, you're only cheating yourself," yet it really is true.  (So, kiddies, buckle down, buckle up, and let's ride through the rest of this semester as happy, honest, researchers!) Ask yourself, though. 

How often do you fake happiness?

Granted, it's Monday, and it was o'dark-thirty when I left my house.  No sunrise to admire, and a chilly enough morning that getting out of bed was tough.  Similar attitudes were displayed by virtually everyone dragging themselves into school today.  Pasting on the smiles, we greeted the kids, some of whom bothered enough to try to act happy.

Despite the dark start to the day, it's easy to find happiness in the enthusiasm of others.  As I stood in the Commons this morning, Tanner walked in, strumming is ukulele.  Nine weeks ago, he didn't even own the instrument, yet chose it as his TDO for the semester.  Now it is an extension of his arms almost every day.  He has an ear for it, and it is darned hard not to be happy around a guy who plays the ukulele with some level of accomplishment.  I know for certain that Tanner is not faking it -- he is truly finding happiness in his new talent, and others, by extension, are finding joy in the music he shares.

Can I tell if someone is happy?  I'd like to think so.  Am I able to diagnose a faker?  Less likely, although not impossible.  Bottom line, however, is that my mother - and grandmothers - were right;  "by cheating, you're only cheating yourself," out of happiness that you truly deserve.

So stop faking it!  Even if it is Halloween.

Doodle Do!

 

I've been practicing the fine art of sketching the perfect cube for more than forty years.   Granted, I don't spend a lot of focused time on this task - usually it is practiced in the margins of notebook paper, or something else laying on my counter or desk - but cubes have been a part of who I am, whenever I have a pen or pencil and paper at hand.  I really don't know why I doodle, and I don't feel very creative when I do, yet it is an automated action that just seems to happen.

Turns out its Okay!

When I was student teaching during the last century - yes, sometimes I feel THAT old -- we were actually warned to watch out for doodlers, and find a way to get them engaged in the lesson.  The assumption was that anyone doodling semi-perfect cubes couldn't possibly be listening and comprehending the lesson.  Yet the research that has been put forth in this century suggests that doodling is no longer on the no-no list for students.   Mind/Shift outlined much of the research that exists, supporting doodling or sketchnoting.  Sunni Brown has a fabulous TED Talk on the topic as well.  So why isn't everyone doodling in every classroom?

Fear.

Face it.  If it has never done it that way before, and you're a student who views every class as something that you aren't interested in OR too valuable to toss away traditional note-taking, chances are fairly good that the idea of drawing pictures isn't high on the list of skills one might attempt.  Yet there are some excellent RSAnimate lectures that have been sketchnoted, which recognizes all the value of multiple intelligences learning.  (Go ahead, watch the Ken Robinson talk on Changing Educational Paradigms -- even if you've watched it before -- simply to consider the power of the sketchnoting!)

Try it on something that might not matter.  Maybe you'll discover that doodling your way through a lecture with intention is exactly what you need for meaningful understanding.  Or perhaps you'll be able to refine your cube-sketching skills to something worthy of fine CADD sketches, or be able to draw Skippy on the back of the matchbook.  (Which really, is soooo last century!)

Differentiating the Living Room.

It's the weekend, and the way my husband and I escape is to comb the local antique shops looking for anything that makes us laugh.  Sometimes we even look at nice stuff, but most of the time we're busy posting ridiculous things that are marked way higher than the opinion we have of its value.  By this I mean, we remember throwing some of this stuff away with nary a thought for the possible resale value of half-melted pilgrim candles.  We have an affinity for creepy santas -- so much so that there may be a calendar for sale at some point.  

This weekend, we had some other items on our agenda, and didn't get to troll the old stuff the way we had hoped.  But we had seen a cabinet last weekend, and decided to revisit it for some measurements.  By the end of today, our living room is now our dining room, and our dining room is now our living room.  All of the kids have seen it, sans Bailey, and Kristin is the only one who has expressed displeasure, but we know she's the least accepting of change.  Mia likes the new open floor plan, and crawled in her Gollum-like style in a circle for many giggles of time.

Yes, we've differentiated the living space.

Change is Good.

Teachers spend a great deal of time attempting to approach traditional lessons with the pizazz necessary to engage every learner.  One student gets a vocabulary list, another gets an adapted exam, still another may need an alternate reading level, or an entirely different expectation for an outcome of an assignment. Suffice it to say that the shuffling of curriculum approaches is not unlike the upheaval in my living room aka dining room right now.  Flexibility works well for students - and for living rooms, apparently -- and generates interest and conversation, ultimately  resulting in new experiences for everyone. 

It's about finding new places to do the same thing.  It's also happening with some of the student-led clubs that have been starting in my classroom during Tribe Time each morning.  The Debate Club is a circle of lively discussion, the Conspiracy Theorists are about to launch their group, and the Student Newspaper is moving into its own world -- by moving to an online platform.  Differentiating the way student newspapers are done in the 21st Century.

Change is good.  Invigorating.  Exciting.  And a bit of a challenge.  Which is exactly what we hope for differentiation, as educators.   

And it might even apply to rearranging the furniture. 

Shake it Off.

It's Friday, and I hit the "Finalize Grades" button for the first quarter slightly before 3 pm.  Grades these days are instantaneous -- the kids get an update on their phones whenever grades are put into Powerschool, the electronic gradebook our district uses.  Students were dismissed at 12:50, allowing teachers to finish grades, work ethic letters, and comments in the two hours and 10 minutes before the official final buzzer, signaling the end of the first marking period.

Of course, working in a high school there are a fair number of students who never left the building today, staying after school in preparation for the pre-football game carnival, or the movie in the auditorium for the freshmen, or to pop into my room and BEG for ONE MORE CHANCE to revise that last assignment for a better grade.

So how can students (and parents) survive the inevitable delivery of the first quarter grades?  Let's face it.  That instant update on the cellphones should reason that no one should be surprised by grades, yet somehow there is always some plea for leniency at the almighty "end of the marking period."  Whatever the grades are mid-semester, there are an equal number of days ahead as there are behind, to change the course of human events.

Clearly there will be curfews that will be shortened, and allowances that may take a hit or two, but the change has to come from within. 

Deep, deep within.

 Mindset Shakeup.

For some kids, the less than stellar grades are directly attributed to less than stellar amounts of time dedicated to the cause.  To others, it's about the process of spending more time convincing oneself that one is incapable of learning the concepts being taught.  Carol Dweck refers to this phenomenon as a Fixed Mindset. The good news is that there are many ways to nudge that stuck cog back into working order.  

A few weeks ago, a member of my grad class talked about her strategy for success in the mathematics class she teaches at a local community college.  Her midterm exam consists of two parts, and an intermission.  After the first half of the test, she distributes paper and asks her students to clear their mind, and to write, list, or draw their frustrations about math.  For ten full minutes, they curse, cry, scribble, list, draw, and whatever else, all that stands between them and success.  Then they are invited to crumble and toss all of that away, breathe a bit, and tackle the second half with renewed energy.

I love this idea. I think it is a brilliant way to create a visual representation and outlet for feelings that need to be somewhere other than bottled up inside.  The results?  The average of the mathphobic students who participate in this model score better than those who don't.

And guess what?  The weekend between the marking periods, midway through the semester is just like that blank piece of paper waiting for the frustrations to be unloaded.  It's one of the blessings of teaching school -- there are so many natural breaks, that a clean slate can happen with very little shaking up at all.  

So, as Taylor Swift reminds us, "Shake it Off."  We're heading into the second half.

 

Happiness is....

Now before you think I am off my rocker -- or calendar -- I know it is Thursday. But hear me out; the twelve hour day of school + conferences is over.  Everything is cleaned up in the kitchen, and there is nothing pressing in the inbox that won't wait until tomorrow.  My head is already accepting that it is Friday.

And yes, I do decorate for Christmas  on Thanksgiving weekend, now that my sister hosts the event and I can get away with premature decoration.

A Working Definition, to be Sure....

Have you ever tried to define something with words that you totally think you understand, only to find yourself dancing around the very tangible and understood concept, feeling like you are completely inept?  Yeah, sure, that makes for all kinds of security and happiness.  Sometimes in Themes in Lit, everybody is upbeat, and other times I drag everybody into that totally gray area that lies between BLACK and WHITE.  I know it's painful, because I see it on their faces.  The disequilibrium they feel is that queasy uncertainty where the answer is easy -- until it is absolutely impossible.  So today, after examining the importance of happiness as it applies to the founding and governing of nations, and checking out the

On display at the University of London

horror story-like pictures of Jeremy Bentham and his shriveled head, and considering his  Greatest Happiness Principle,  I challenged my classes to write their own definitions.  (I applaud my restraint at not singing  the Happiness Is song courtesy of the gang from Peanuts.  Primarily because kids today don't know what a skate key is.)

The definitions were fascinating - a sample is provided below.  

• Happiness is a rush of dopamine, oxytocin, serotonine, and endorphins.
• Happiness is a short or long term condition of feeling content and joyful. 
• Happiness is feeling complete with oneself, whether it be religiously, morally, or socially
• Happiness -- the feeling of elation or satisfaction from the environmental, social, and emotional aspects of an individual person, usually brought upon by the action or thought of either the person or the surroundings
• A condition derived from relevance and satisfactory feelings that provide pleasure within a person's own virtues
• I believe that while happiness itself cannot truly have a definition because the condition of happiness is different for each person, the way that this condition of happiness can be achieved can have a definition of sorts; pruning external practices and using your internal setting to create a feeling of prosperity.
• Happiness is having a feeling of satisfaction or pleasure, and it can vary based on a person's social relationships and environment.
• Happiness is . . . Strong, Loving Relationships + a Sense of Belonging + a feeling of Gratitude and Pleasure + a State of Positivity + Satisfaction in what you do 
• When you feel complete, as if all your needs are met. All problems are not important at that moment, and you can only focus on your emotions.
• Happiness is a feeling of joy that comes from giving to others, finding yourself, and finding a purpose in life.  

I challenge you to try to define happiness for yourself -- with or without the Peanuts gang singing along.  And then start asking questions - just as the kids in class did today:

• Is it possible to be happy then if situations are not going well, or if contentment is lacking? How would you define the difference between happiness and joy? 
• But are joy and happiness not different?
• Do you think that you would have more happiness if you tried something outside of your boundaries? 
• Do you think it is possible to be unhappy while accomplishing things inside your moral boundaries? For example, if I think it is morally right to eat dessert all the time, and I do, couldn't I be unhappy because of the effects? Or would I change my moral boundary...?  

 Now you see why I love what I do.  I'm fairly certain Jeremy Bentham is having his head reattached as we speak, just so he can ruminate about these questions, and redefine Utilitarianism.

And let me be the first to wish you a Happy Friday!

 

Attitude of Gratitude

 It's Wednesday, and not quite the middle of a very long week.  You see, tomorrow is parent conferences, so the lights will be burning after school - and into the dark of night, as we meet to discuss with mom and dad exactly what might help junior succeed this semester.

For teachers, conferences subconsciously signals to us that we should KNOW these kids, what they need, what they try to pull, and when and how to push them to success.  Some kids come with instructions -- aka IEPs -- that help us to know how to best serve their unique learning needs.  For others, well, it's a little more like assembling a product from China with directions translated from the original language. 

 

+2

As I mentioned on Monday, this week has taken an exceptionally strong dip when it comes to happiness, and finding happiness in the face of adversity -- even if it is adversity by association -- is difficult. For some parents, the news will bring a smile to their faces, for others, well, they may be wringing more than their hands at the end of the evening.  So yes, the positive psychology skills apply equally well to delivering news to parents AND communicating with students.

I am a TED Talk junky, and another of my favorite TED Talks is by Rita Pierson, who talks about the importance of relationships and positivity.  I love her illustration of giving a quiz where a student misses 18 out of the 20 possible points.  What does she mark on the paper?  +2.  "....+2  You got two right, you didn't miss them all!  Minus 18 sucks all the life out of you.  + 2 says I ain't all bad."

 I have an unusual job, and am fortunate to be teaching concepts of happiness to three separate classes, which is allowing me, perhaps, a little more optimism in a pretty pessimistic environment.  As part of the Happiness study, my students are currently working on tracking their own happiness levels while participating in 21 consecutive days of meditating, or journaling, or exercising, or practicing random acts of kindness, or expressing gratitude.  I've decided to journal, in my own way, by resuming the blog on a daily basis, focusing on the positives of my day.  Over the weekend, I challenged friends on Facebook to join us, if only in an attempt to survive the next two weeks of election season!

The 21 Days to Happiness group is holding each other accountable -- you are welcome to join by following the link -- and today this post appeared:

What brings you lasting happiness? For me gratitude is the essential key to happiness. Not things, not people, but being honestly thankful for everything. Even in my worst times the shear act of gratitude will totally change my experience into a peaceful experience.
Just putting that out there.~Karla

Karla isn't the only one thriving on the high that is gratitude.  And in order to be grateful for someone else, you need, well, SOMEONE else.  Think about it.   Even if you are grateful for your Kuerig first thing in the morning, it's entirely appropriate to be thanking that Ethiopian goat herder, Kaldi, for munching on those berries many years ago.  If you're grateful for a job, chances are darned good that you were hired by a person, if it's because your mail was delivered on time the gratitude goes to those who face the rain and sleet and dark of night to complete those appointed rounds.

So give it a try now.  Open an email and send a note telling them how much they impacted your life.  It will definitely make at least two people a bit happier -- you, and the recipient.

.... And no, I don't think Kaldi has an email address.