11:23 pm

I went to bed a little later than usual, yet I was sound asleep at 11:23 pm when the house phone rang.  Yes, we do still have a house phone - it's primary job is that it provides a place for telemarketers to call and us to completely ignore, simultaneously feeling victory and disgust over the annoyance of the ring.  But telemarketers don't call after 9 pm, and every sleeping parent knows that a ringing phone at 11:23 pm is not a good thing.

It was a former student, now a freshman in college, sobbing and screaming so uncontrollably that it took me a very short time to be truly awake and a very long time to grasp what had happened.  Social media was ablaze with posts about a young man who had allegedly chosen to end his life. (Update:  This has not been confirmed, and the death is being investigated.)  My caller was desperately seeking answers, replaying in her mind how she might have changed this terrible course, repeatedly and despondently asking me how she could have made a difference that would have alternately affected the outcome.  

Teachers are grown ups.  And the one lesson that we probably should teach a little more explicitly is that grown ups don't have all the answers, especially when trying to understand or explain the behaviors and choices of teenagers.  The statistics are horrifying:  suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the United States, yet that number rises significantly for young people.  Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for our young people in high school and college.  To someone who had turned the lights off on the Christmas tree a little more than an hour ago, the idea that someone had chosen to end his life at this particular time of year was especially gut-wrenching.  I was devastated, and I don't know this young man, except as a bright eyed kid with an infectious smile in the hallway with his friends.

Today is the last day of school before break, and is usually a day

full of laughter, good cheer, and the sharing and witnessing of the amazing skills of many students at the annual Talent Show. While the show will still go on, I assume, there will definitely be tears and confusion over what could have been done to change a very personal decision made by one young man.  My heart aches for his mother, and I already dread the meeting before school this morning with the faculty where I will see his teachers asking themselves the same questions that Brittany asked me last night, as they choke back tears of grief.

I also know that today will be a day of caring, support, and love for each other, because that's what Donegal does.  I know that this Talent Show, regardless of what the acts are, or who is performing, or whether there are flaws in the performances,  will be viewed by an audience that traditionally demonstrates superhuman skills in compassion - cheering wildly for the successes of the individuals on stage.   The annual Talent Show is always a place of support and acceptance, and I tear up every year that I am able to work at such a unique place in a world that often seems to lack kindness. 

Before midnight last night, the Student Council was already talking about ways to remember their lost classmate, and celebrate his short life. In January, the attendance at the Aevaidum Club will probably increase dramatically, as the realization that everyone needs someone to "have their back" has hit uncomfortably close to home.

I have tremendous hope in the kids who are asking "why" today, and know that from this horrible tragedy will come conversations, consolations, and an even greater compassion for each other, and the strength to move forward, together, in a world that sometimes seems like more than one can bear.  

The whisper of "You are not alone" will become a louder voice in my world.  Please call someone if you need to talk.  They'll have your back.

Even if it is 11:23 pm.

Mondays have a bad reputation.

Mondays have a bad reputation.  Long before Karen Carpenter sang about the dismal, mood-altering properties of the first day of the work-week, there existed a certain dread for the proverbial return-to-the-grindstone of the traditional work week. 

Weird thing, though, not everybody feels that way.  I am one of those people who views Monday as the fresh start.  It doesn't have quite the same feel as a new notebook, or turning the page on the calendar, but it does allow me to shake my arms and legs out a bit, like Usain Bolt about to go into the blocks before a big race.  

Because, face it, from about 7:35 on Monday until 3 pm on Friday, that's pretty much how a teacher's work week seems to fly.  It's a race, even if it does seem like a marathon at times.

21 Days of Happiness.

More than 3 weeks ago, I committed to returning to daily blogging as my own version of the 21 Days of Happiness project that my students were doing.  Today, two classes shared the results of their projects, and the general consensus was that journaling and random acts of kindness seemed to have the greatest impact on personal happiness, with gratitude as a close third.  Conversely, meditation was not a success.  

One of the most interesting reports came from the recipient of kindness, rather than the RAK=giver herself.  This student had taken it upon herself to write notes of encouragement with facts about Mondays.  

"I know today is Monday and you assume it's going to suck, but according to statistics, there will be over 5,000 weddings, 10,000 childbirths, and 42 million hugs occurring today throughout the United States.... There will be 600 dogs adopted, ........ because according to statistics, it should actually be a really nice day....."

We all know that there is no sense in arguing statistics.  And yes, it was Monday, and yes, one single letter passed out to some friends made an impact that started a comment, which generated a discussion, which created a blog topic, which made me wonder what wonderful statistics exist for Tuesday.

Have a great week! 

This teacher is a teacher, inside and out.

In a post for my grad class today, I commented about how I am the same person in the classroom as I am outside of the classroom.  I don't have a "teacher voice" and I rarely pull the "teacher" card, choosing to foster mutual respect for the space and each other, instead of a dictatorship run by someone who once slipped on banana pudding and missed almost half of a semester as a result.  After all, how much confidence would you have in that role model?

The interesting thing about the classroom relationships and my social media relationships is that they are very similar.  It is rare for me to be unhappy in a classroom, and I am conscious of my level of negativity on social media as well.  

Given the negativity that has existed over the past several months, coupled with the fact that we've been studying Happiness in Themes in Literature, there have been opportunities where I've spoken on this blog about assignments for my students that I've also posted for social media friends.  The idea of the TDO - the Talent Development Opportunity project - was tossed out to adults to see what they could do if they had the equivalent amount of one period per cycle to work on something new to them.  Just 80 Minutes became the mantra in its own group on Facebook.

Today, in a blog of one of the participants was this:

In nine weeks, I have gone from inept to confident as a paper piecer! Granted, I spent more than 80 minutes each week; most weeks, it was probably double that. But it was the discipline, the setting aside of the minimum of 80 minutes and working on learning a new skill, that paid off.

Other people explored and cooked healthier recipes, organized specific spaces with an intentional time dedicated each week, tried geocaching, and posted results.

Just for the record - I have clearly seen the benefits of focused effort over the past few weeks and I am grateful to this group for helping rediscover the concept. However, I do not plan to continue creating an accountability blog and/or FB post every Monday. I want to use those minutes (and a few more) to actually read the many books I've gathered (part of my larger plan to limit the amount of time I spend at the computer). Best wishes to all!  

The 21 Day Happiness assignment resulted in the creation of another group - 21 Days to Happiness.  Again, my friends supported the project with their own reports, as they meditated, exercised, expressed kindness, journaled or showed gratitude:

What brings you lasting happiness? For me gratitude is the essential key to happiness. Not things, not people, but being honestly thankful for everything. Even in my worst times the shear act of gratitude will totally change my experience into a peaceful experience.
Just putting that out there

****

So far I have shared my gratitude with 3 individuals. Not only has it reminded me of all that I am grateful for, especially during a hard time in my life, but it has brought joy to the folks I have shared with. Can't wait to spread some more happiness!

****

Soon it became evident that we started noticing kindness and happiness all around us...

I am sitting at Masonic Homes catching my breath for a moment and just witnessed the sweetest thing. This woman obviously wanted to see the foliage and flowers in the garden. So this man helped her out of the car (and caught her going both ways when she nearly fell) and then stood and talked with her until she had her fill 

This week, I am challenging myself to be more authentic and caring in this crazy world.  It's getting busy -- the holidays are coming, the semester is ending with my grad class, there are gifts to be made, purchased, and wrapped.  There is a presentation to be had at the annual state Gifted Conference this week in Harrisburg, with late nights and many connections with colleagues from various parts of the tri-state area, and lesson plans to write for a substitute who will cover in my absence.    

The world will continue to turn, and next weekend will provide a celebrated relief and proof that I survived this very busy week.  What will you have to show for your efforts?  Join me in taking some time to be grateful, drop a note to someone who won't expect it, hold a door, share an umbrella.   

Make a difference.  Even if it is small.  We all have time, no matter how busy we are.

 

Valuing Values

The other night, my husband and I were watching American Pickers "On Demand," and a political commercial came on slamming Hillary Clinton.  Within five minutes, another followed, this time slamming Donald Trump.  I was suitably outraged, because it was THURSDAY, and the election was over, and, well, I was truly looking forward to no more mudslinging for the foreseeable future! Bruce talked me off the ledge, explaining that the show was essentially, prerecorded.

This political season has been marked by one thing:  news media AND candidates who spent less time talking about long-range plans for the country, and more time focused on the values, or lack thereof, of the opponents. The best that they seemed to be able to do was to point out exactly how deficient the opponent was when it came to basic societal decency.

 Values Education

A common theme in many schools these days is one of "Positive Behavior," rewarding good, rather than criticizing students for infractions.  While there are folks on both sides of the actual effectiveness of this model,  it does seem to appear that there are many students in classes who choose to act one way at school, and entirely differently in the presence of their parents.  This works both positively and negatively.  Some parents are shocked to find that their rambunctious offspring are perfect angels in school, while others discover, with great horror, the exact opposite.  There is definitely a trend, however, for values or character education in our schools these days.

We're trying to engage our students in being better people.  As I drove this morning, it occurred to me that society is encouraging and expecting schools to "fix" this generation of kids.  Make them appreciate the little things, be respectful, be kind, be accepting of each other, not bully others.  The anti-Clinton commercials and the anti-Trump commercials angered everyone, and further divided an already divided nation, yet they shared a common theme:  VALUES.  Neither side liked the values displayed by the other.

A comment left on my aunt's blog resonated with me.  The quote is attributed to Joe Piscopo, although I haven't been able to verify it:

 "A president doesn’t make America. We do. America is awesome because of Americans. The better we are, the better America is." Volunteer. Donate to causes you care about. Help out your neighbor. Love each other. Pray. DO whatever it is you think our country needs on whatever level you can. It starts with you, and your actions matter.

That is what is most important - what we the people do.

So maybe, just maybe, this election is more about the common theme, and that we, as Americans, can step up and help the parents, teachers, and, heck the whole world, by figuring out what we value, and move towards instilling those values in the world.  

Even if we don't need to do it because it will look good on a college or job application. Even if nobody has asked or expects us to do something kind.  We need to DO whatever it is that we think our country needs, on whatever level we can.  And yes, actions matter.  We can move this nation to one of character, rather than a bunch of hyped up characters.

Value values.  Pass it on.

 

Eleven Eleven @ Eleven

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

John McCrae, 1915 

It's 11 - 11.  The annual Veteran's Day assembly culminated, as it does each year, with nearly 900 students filing silently out of the auditorium at 11 am, honoring the memory, sacrifice, and service of so many.  

I am proud to teach at Donegal, yet I am especially proud on Veteran's Day.  While the news and social media is filled with less than desirable tales of cruelty in schools, today at Donegal was filled with kindness.  the choir sang, the band played, The Voice of Democracy winner presented her winning paper, and sitting front and center, the veterans of our community, who were honored in a roll call by branch of service.  Sitting amidst them was Harold Billow -- the only living survivor of the Malmedy Massacre.    

This man is a genuine inspiration to our small community.  So much so, that more people called him "Pap" today, than by his given name. He was escorted by a graduate of Donegal, who worked on a National History Day project several years ago with Mr. Billow, who now regularly visits him, because of the deep bond they formed over that project.  There he was, in his original uniform, smiling broadly, adding an extra sparkle to a sense of national pride.

Yes, pride.  While each year there are more than a few tears shed and wiped away, Veteran's Day is celebrated, recognized, and immortalized for a generation of students who realize the responsibilities bestowed upon them, as they stand on the shoulders of giants who have served before.

One of whom is a slight man, who still fits in a uniform that he wore more than 60 years ago.

Lesson Plans Tossed to the Wind.

Wednesday, November 9th.  The Day After.  

It was pouring rain, and virtually everyone at school appeared sullen and sleep-deprived.  Given that the "Theme" in Themes in Literature this semester is Happiness, suffice it to say that my pre-planned "Activating Strategy" was pretty much DOA. After several more attempts, with side conversations between students bursting into larger class discussions, the lesson was called on account of disequilibrium.

We've all witnessed a sporting event "called" on account of darkness, lightning, or serious storms in the area, when someone in charge makes the decision to pull the plug on the plans for the day, in the interest of all involved.  The same works for teachers when conditions are not sufficient in the classroom.

We had a quiet discussion, exploring what we already knew from the wonderful Mr. Groff's AP Government and Politics class from the last two years.  There are checks and balances, the government moves slowly - sometimes too slowly - in making changes in policy and decisions.  The legislative branch of the government is notorious for its ability to examine a given situation from more perspectives than most people would ever consider.  It seemed that we could transition back to business as usual.  

Suddenly, we were back to square one.  

I don't usually have my phone on my desk, yet I caught a glimpse of a message from my aunt:  "It doesn't change who I am. "

It's amazing to me how inspiration comes when it is needed most.  All of my students have Chromebooks, and use Googledocs as their main platform for writing.  I asked them to open a new document, and to ask them to consider how influential any politician actually is on their day-to-day life, motivation or happiness.  Can anyone else influence who you are? If the answer is no, then write "It doesn't change who I am."

The free-writing began, and continued until lunch, about 20 minutes later.  In teacher-speak, this wasn't the way I had planned my day, but it was necessary to put aside the plans for the sake of the kids.  After lunch we posted 600 post-it notes containing happiness quotes and inspiration throughout the school.  (We'd been working on collecting enough to put one on every locker at some point, yet it was easy to see that they were needed on this grey, rainy day, where so many were so torn.)

What I hadn't considered was the impact of split decisions on students.  We live in the heart of Amish country, where there is a fairly even split between the candidates.  Even the supporters of the new president realized the ongoing challenges of such a close election.  High School students have friends, and align their support, often, with their parents or their social circles.  Students with friends in two camps are particularly torn on a day like November 9th.  How does one celebrate with one group of friends without offending another group?

I awoke this morning to find a text from Ellen, thanking me for the unplanned Googledocs activity.  She had continued writing well beyond the school day, finishing sometime after ten pm. This junior in high school had reflected upon her reflection, her day, her relationships, and her world, and shared her finished work with me.  By the time I'd read the first paragraph, I was ugly-crying, and spent most of today looking like a puffy Pufferfish.  

And I don't even care.   Because yesterday's experience was nothing like the lesson plans I had written, yet turned out to be the one of the most memorable of my career.  There are days when the lesson plans need to be tossed to the wind.

I am privileged and honored to be able to share Ellen's Thoughts with you, with her permission:

Ellen's Thoughts 

 

The President cannot change who I choose to love.

I am no different than I was yesterday.

THIS does not change who I am. THIS does not change who my family is. THIS does NOT change where my hope is to be found. THIS does not change me.

Today, I choose to laugh onstage tonight. I choose to push all that I can out of my mind.

I choose to rant, then be still. I choose to recognize that my God is an Awesome God. I choose to remember what I’ve been telling myself all along: there is more to people. People are not just Republican or Democrat. Heck! That’s only for American people anyway! There is so much more to this WORLD. Languages, culture, LIFE.

I choose my friends, NOT the President. I choose when I will stand up and when I will sit down. I choose to tell my younger sisters and my future children, whether they be my students, small group of youth, or my children's children, that they CAN choose.

Choose Joy! I am not happy on this day. I am joyful that one day this all will end. “This too shall pass.” I praise not the man or woman, not the system or its followers, but the joy and peace put before me.

I choose because I can. I have power over my thoughts, my actions, what I choose to say tonight, what I choose to express and how I will go on in the future. I choose. And this isn’t ABOUT pro-life or pro-choice, rather about my ability to be human with grey areas and confusion. I have a choice.

    Help me to choose life, dear God. Life-giving words, life-giving actions, life-giving encouragement, life-giving friendships. I choose it. Lead me to following through.

But most importantly, I choose to remember how HE loves. My Savior. The one who IS my identity, IS my Lord, IS my hope. It’s not even that God is testing us or whatever people say; it is the choices we’re making and I’m choosing joy. I will not be happy with this election and its results, but I will choose to not let it break my character.

I am more than the checkmark next to Trump’s face when I googled the results this morning. I am more than the T-shirts and hurtful statements. I am more than the questioning of my friends. I am more than the magazines printed and the speeches given. I am SO MUCH MORE.

I am changing, evolving, growing, moving, learning. I am.

“I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart.

I am, I am, I am.”  (Sylvia Plath)

Make America Kind Again.

I went to bed last night without knowing who won.  I resisted the urge to look at the results at 3:30 when I woke up, knowing I would not be able to get back to sleep, no matter what the results.  At five, the ability to ignore reality was too strong and I looked at CNN. 

I know there is concern, fear, trepidation, and a crashed Canadian Immigration website.  I know that there will be gloaters and criers on television, on the streets, and probably at work today.  Years ago, I had the privilege of visiting Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her Virginia home.  Although you may not recognize her name, she is the one responsible for the research on the Stages of Grief. She found a way to help people deal with their feelings of despair, isolation, and hopelessness.  She herself was a very caring and kind person, who specialized in understanding the end of life, yet did so with joy and happiness.  Her stages of grief are not unlike what many have - and will - experience, given the political divide that was evident in such a close race last evening.   So yes, there will be anger, there will be bargaining with Canadian immigration, and eventually acceptance.

But none of that matters.  What matters to me this morning is exactly what mattered to me yesterday.  What matters is kindness, civility, optimism, and hope.  Regardless of who won, I went to bed knowing that the world will go on, and that I have hope for the future.

Hope doesn't come from politicians, political parties, or CNN.  Hope comes in the banding together of common people to affect change for the good of everyone.  

My sister's Facebook status around 4 am was this:

Let's all find courage, compassion and conviction to face the election results (regardless of your choice of candidate) with the theory "Make America Kind Again." 

 Hope.

At 8 am this morning, there will be 52 Key Club members in my room.  They will be planning a menu of opportunities for service projects.  Key Club is the high school version of the adults' Kiwanis Club.  This is Key Club Week, and these kiddos are already working to Make America Kind Again.  They are passing out Powerpacks to hungry families, collecting soda tabs for patients in need, setting up and tearing down events, babysitting for families experiencing medical difficulties, raising money for UNICEF to help eliminate Malaria.  They are trying to advance an understanding of autism and its impacts. They are practicing Random Acts of Kindness so often that the idea of RANDOM doesn't really apply.

National Honor Society, Future Business Leaders of America, National Art Honor Society and Mathematics Honor Society, and Varsity Club all have chapters in my high school, and every single one of these groups provide kind service to make the world a better place.  

On Friday, our school will hold its annual Veterans' Day Assembly. I will stand, as I always do, so very proud of my country, the veterans, and the student body, who will demonstrate kindness and respect.  

A week later, the Extraordinary Give will be held in Lancaster County.  A single day will make a world of difference for many organizations providing hope in this world. I will spend another night watching totals roll in - this time for something that really matters.  Hope.

So on this morning when I fear for the Stock Market opening, and stand wondering why our world will determine success or despair based upon votes and stock values, I am choosing to pull a Fred Rogers, and look for the helpers.  

Fortunately for me, I see helpers every day because my world is largely comprised of 14 - 18 year olds who don't know what it means to give up, instead choosing to have hope,  to STEP up, and  to Make America Kind Again.